Every four years, we elect a President; and every four years, we turn into a nation of Sore Losers & Sore Winners for weeks or months after the election.
Since it’s almost that time, how about if we all take the pledge…c’mon, raise your right hand and repeat after me…
If my candidate LOSES:
- I PLEDGE not to spend all my waking hours for the next several weeks threatening to move to Canada, or a militia compound in Montana…however, in the event that I can’t resist such moaning & groaning, I PLEDGE to do all my irritated friends & co-workers a big favor and actually MOVE!
- I PLEDGE not to rant and rail against entire states as if they were living, sentient beings whose “RED-ness” or “BLUE-ness” makes it reasonable for me to hate them.
- I PLEDGE to only start screaming “Vote Fraud!” and “Stolen Election!” if there IS something to support such claims besides my candidate losing.
- I PLEDGE to look on the bright side: at least my candidate will be able to sit on the sidelines saying “I told you so!” as the other candidate “crashes and burns” while in office!
If my candidate WINS…
- I PLEDGE to celebrate in moderation — as if I am aware of the fact that it’s likely to be months or years before it can definitively be said whether I, or anyone I know, actually “won” anything or not!
- I PLEDGE not to be that surprised, shocked, and depressed when, in spite of all the soaring campaign rhetoric I bought into, my candidate turns out to be…just a politician!
- I PLEDGE to humbly remember that, in 4 years time, I will be defending all the mistakes and stupid statements my candidate will have inevitably made as the incumbent!
- I PLEDGE to keep in mind that, with the extremely dire economic situation my candidate will now be expected to actually FIX…it’s a toss-up whether history will remember him as “the second F.D.R.” or “the second Herbert Hoover!”