Entries Tagged as 'MAD topics'

Longtime MAD Writer Frank Jacobs belts it out on PBS

I hope everybody caught the inimitable Frank Jacobs last week on the PBS multi-part series on the history of American Comedy, “Make’em Laugh.”  They allotted him a minute or so of air-time, squeezed in between Tom Lehrer and Allan Sherman. He gave Sinatra a run for his money, crooning some of his own parody lyrics from “Sing Along with MAD” (1961). Pretty good singing…for a MAD Writer.

As a kid in the 1960s, Frank was my favorite MAD writer. I bought every MAD paperback they put out, but I distinctly remember Frank’s book “For Better or Verse” as something extra special. And I still think it is.

I first met Frank around 1986, while living in Southern California, at my first of the periodic West Coast MAD get-togethers for the freelancers who lived out there (Frank, Sergio, Dave Berg, Arnie Kogen, Tom Koch, Dennis Snee, me).

(It was at this dinner I found out that, for the previous 5 years, I’d been unwittingly living less than 3 miles from Frank – which, in L.A. is like being next-door neighbors!)

Frank and I had lunch or dinner every so often (until a few years later, when I moved out of California), either at my favorite restaurant in the hills above Burbank (which burned down in the 90s); or Frank’s regular joint across from Warner Bros. Studios (which was torn down about the same time, to make way for – more Warner Bros. movie-poster displays!). In spite of the bad luck we seem to have passed on to those particular eateries, these long chats with Frank are some of the fondest memories of my life. (I don’t know how Frank feels about my end of the conversation, but…)

It was Frank who got me perhaps the strangest writing credit on my resume: “Lawrence Welk Entertainment Group.” No, it wasn’t writing one-liners for the Lennon Sisters or snappy put-downs for accordionist Myron Floren — it was a game-show pilot that never made it on the air (But I’ll always have that “Lawrence Welk” check stub!)

The best Frank story I can tell concerns the 1989 MAD Trip, and serves more to illustrate the relationship between Bill Gaines and the “original” Usual Gang of Idiots, like Frank. See, we were among the few smokers left, and this particular trip Frank (a light sleeper) had the misfortune to be assigned to room with me (a heavy snorer)…with predictable, and not-so-zany, results. (I’ve long since stopped even trying to deny the awfulness of my snoring — from the time I was camping in Northern Arizona, and woke MYSELF up, thinking I was the sound of a bear growling outside my tent!)

Anyway, the next morning, a more-bleary-eyed-than-usual Frank explained to Bill, and asked if he couldn’t switch roommates (“No offense, Mike, but…Geez!!!“). When Bill couldn’t work out anything, roommate-switching-wise, he promised Frank that he or his wife Annie (the Logistics Wizard, for MAD Trips, and everything else!) would “arrange something” before nightfall. And they did: despite there being “No Occupancy” signs all over this German tourist town, they somehow booked both of us into a huge 2-bedroom condo/apartment down the street from the hotel — at considerable extra expense, I’m sure, not to mention added time & trouble to find it. That’s what being a Friend of Bill meant!

MAD’s future? DC COMICS boldly decides…to kick the can down the road

Quarterly?! They’re turning MAD Magazine into a Quarterly? I confess that I didn’t see this coming myself — but I should have; it’s exactly the sort of middle-of-the-road “weasel out” that executives in soulless media behemoth corporations specialize in! It’s like declaring a “trial separation” instead of a divorce. It’s like saying “Let’s date other people” when you really just want to break it off.

They’re also ceasing publication entirely of MAD Kids and MAD Classics; and permanently laying off “several” MAD staff. (And probably losing the interest of many of the remaining Usual Gang of Idiots; with 66.6 percent fewer Art or Script pages to sell?!! Hey, everybody’s got to make a living!)

Quarterly publication is going to be a disaster for a humor magazine like MAD! Just when they’ve been getting pretty good at shrinking their “topicality lead-time” (did you see how much Pres. Obama material was in the current issue, #498; that went to press a little over a month after the election!). From now on, with 3 months between issues, even the biggest and most satire-worthy news events are likely to get ignored. (“Will readers even remember this 3 months from now?” “Will it be totally irrelevant by then?”). I’m guessing that this will lead to even more “old, familiar MAD-style” pieces than ever. (“You KNOW you’re HAMSTRUNG as Humor-Magazine Editors WHEN…”) And, thus, making MAD even more of a “museum piece,” appealing mainly to those who LIKE it “1965-style!” But, new & younger readers they need to survive? Eh…not so much.

(BTW: Does anyone even know of a Quarterly magazine that’s successful? Are there ANY Quarterly magazines on the newsstands?)

Here’s my prediction: a year or two from now, after having done everything in its power NOT to give it a chance to survive, DC COMICS will announce that, “having given it every chance to survive,” we are ceasing publication of MAD Magazine.

MAD, The Middle East & “Comedy Killers”

With the 17-zillionth flareup in the Eternal & Unsolvable Israeli/Palestinian Conflict, I’m reminded of perhaps the most surreal moments I ever witnessed on any of my 4 MAD trips. Let me paint the picture for you:

The Year: 1989. A resort hotel lobby in peaceful, neutrality-loving Switzerland, listening to Dave Berg and Sergio Aragones carry on a “spirited” discussion of the tit-for-tat history of the Middle East, whilst the latter works on pages of his (and Mark Evanier’s) comic book “Groo the Wanderer” spread over a large table. (BTW: Yes, it’s true: Sergio IS the Fastest Artist in the World!) Every so often, as the rising outrage- and volume-level of the arguments threatens to boil over, Dave turns to me, the new kid, to explain that “Sergio is one of my best friends!” To which Sergio reciprocates, “Absolutely! And Dave Berg is one of MY best friends!” “That’s right,” Dave says, “even though he actually believes that the Palestinians…” And then it’s back to the argument – to be interrupted again by Dave (the author of a 1960s book entitled, “My Friend, God”) telling me that “he’s not that religious”; that his views on Israel are strictly secular. And back to the argument…on and on, ad infinitum (pretty much like the conflict itself!)

Dave and Sergio were the only two MAD guys I ever heard get serious about Israel/Palestine. I guess everyone else knows in their bones what a “comedy killer” it is and, therefore, utterly pointless for a comedy writer to spend time thinking about (unless you happen to be a comedy writer living in Beersheba or Gaza City). One of my few forays into this topic was within a MAD piece I wrote called “CNN Sitcoms Based on News Stories They’ve Covered” – it was a faux sitcom called, “Shlomo Loves Fatima,” about an Israeli soldier during the intifada and the female Palestinian agitator “whose rock hits him like Cupid’s Arrow.” Apparently, I heard, even that was too much for some angry letter-writers. 

Other “Comedy Killer” subjects: let’s see, CancerChild Abuse…oh, the new kid on the block, 9/11, and of course, the JFK and Lincoln Assassinations (the other 2 presidential hit-jobs are theoretically okay…but it’s been ages since I’ve heard a good McKinley Assassination joke!)

The MAD Paid-Circulation Graph

The chart below shows MAD’s paid circulation over the past 5 decades (as reported by the magazine itself, and collected by MAD’s unofficial, but trusted, Keeper-of-the-Stats, Mike Slaubaugh). There are several interesting things on this chart, which I’ve labelled A through D, in red:

Letter A. There’s a theory in the MAD Community that the magazine was mainly a phenomenon of the Baby Boom Generation (those born between 1946 and 1964). Thus, the reasoning goes, the main “cause” of the declining readership of MAD was NOT (as I’ve argued) its failure to “change with the times” but merely the aging of the Boomers into adulthood, and right out of the core MAD-reading demographic. I don’t like this theory; it seems defeatist to me (and like an excuse for not having changed) — but, looking at this chart, it’s hard to dispute it. See, the year 1974 (“A”), when MAD reached its peak circulation of 2.1 million, also happens to be the 20th anniversary of the Median & Most-Populous Year of Baby Boomers, 1954 (which I happen to know because it includes ME, and I did indeed turn 20 years old, so the math works out fine!). The upshot of this “Median year”-business is, before 1974, the number of Baby Boomers Under Age 20 (available as MAD readers) INCREASED every year; after 1974, that number only DECREASED. The dramatic up-&-down plot of the MAD-circulation graph mirrors the entire Boomer Generation’s own movement through the pre-teen and teenage years. (And, don’t forget: despite the perennial hype about the size of the Baby Boom generation, it has long since been numerically eclipsed by both Gen-X and Gen-Y. Where are all of THEM on this graph?)

Letter B. Just look at that trend-line from, say 1979 to 1984! Wow! The then-editors must’ve been shitting their pants on a regular basis — losing fully HALF of their readers in 5 years! The most obvious cause, in addition to very last of the Boomers leaving their Teen years, is VIDEO GAMES. Specifically, Arcade Video Games – which ate up many a quarter otherwise destined to buy a copy of MAD. (But I would add another possible cause: the shifting of American Humor during this time toward the more raunchy, more ironic & conceptual, and more “biting” and rough — leaving relatively-mild & straightforward “MAD-style” Humor in the dust.)

Letter C. What’s this? A little uptick in circulation, maybe signaling a reversal of the general downward trend? Oop — false alarm. Resume the shitting of pants!

(Notice also, to the right of “C”: the years 1993/1994 – the birth of the Internet-as-we-know-it (not its “Arpa-Net“-ish precursors). What was MAD’s circulation then? Under 500,000, down from its 2.1 million peak. Hmm. So much for the argument that it’s the Internet that killed MAD. It had already lost 75% of its readers before the Net was even a twinkle in the eye of its father, Al Gore!)

Letter D. Now here’s the real mystery: the circulation plateau of about 200,000 from 2000 to 2007. Who are these people? (Whoever they are, 30,000 of ‘em just disappeared in the last year!) I’m sure that some of the 200,000 were “never-left” adult MAD readers (whom I personally know to exist: one was my family doctor in Nevada; another is a helicopter reporter for a major-market NBC-affiliate; yet another is a big political consultant in his 50s). And then there are the children (or grandchildren? Gulp!) of former MAD readers, enticed (badgered?) by their elders into reading it. But surely there MUST be at least some Gen-Y or “Millenial”-readers with no existing “family connection” to MAD who were somehow LURED IN by the magazine itself. Ah, THESE are the readers that must be captured, and studied, and replicated in a laboratoryquickly! — for MAD to have any chance of surviving past next year.

MAD “Death-Watch”…by-the-numbers and by-the-rumors

It’s no secret that MAD Magazine has been in trouble for awhile. Of course, magazines in general have been hemorrhaging readers big-time over the past few decades, but MAD is near the head (“foot?”) of that pack, losing over 90% of its paid circulation since the high of 2.1 million for the year 1974. During the past decade, they seemed to have settled into a stable (if dismal) range of 200,000 plus-or-minus 10,000…that is, until this past year. They’ve just published their latest annual Statement of Circulation (MAD#497, p. 6): the average per-issue Total Paid Circulation is way down to 170,000…with the “issue closest to filing date” coming in even worse at 167,000!

Yikes: that’s a 15% drop in just one year…with an additional 2% drop for the final month, just as a little extra “kick in the balls!”

(I knew this past year would probably be awful for MAD when, around last Christmas-time, they were calling up freelancers all over the country – including me, before I became The Felonious MAD-Blogger to them — and asking us to “check” to see if the magazine was getting onto our local newsstands. Not a good sign.)

Now for the rumor I’ve heard from half a dozen separate sources this year: MAD #500 will be the last one ever; 3 more issues and they’re calling it quits, at a nice, round number. I point out again that this is only RUMOR, nothing definitive, nothing from anyone actually in the position to “pull the plug.” But, still… (And all of the times I heard this rumor were before these latest worsening circulation numbers came out…and also before the financial-sector crisis that lead to the current general economic meltdown.)

Up Next: Some interesting things this graph says about “What the hell happened to MAD?”

MAD Auction update…& a Mystery!

Well, for those who haven’t heard, the Heritage Auction of original MAD art (see posts below) was held last Friday and took in an amazing $750,000 – more than double the pre-auction estimates. Good for them! That should keep the DC/TIME, Inc. wolves away from the magazine’s door for awhile longer.

The piece fetching the highest price was, as expected, the original Norman Mingo cover art for MAD #30 (December 1956) – the first cover with Alfred E. Neuman and the phrase “What – me worry?” It sold for an impressive $203,150 (including the auction house’s commission) — which I read is the most ever paid for a piece of original comic art.

The AP story about this auction also says: “A Grammy-nominated singer and songwriter who requested anonymity was the winning bidder of three other MAD art covers.” Ooooh! I love a Mystery! Now, who could that be? My first guess was the composer of the haunting and immortal 1965 MAD ditty, “It’s a Gas!” But then I remembered the old Grammy bias against “pressed-onto-cardboard-&-stuck-inside-a-magazine” recordings, so…nix that one. Second guess – one I’m sure has already occurred to many of you –  “Weird Al” Yankovich. But, alas, this is also a “nix”: Al is actually a 3-time Grammy WINNER, in addition to “nominee,” and nobody in show biz ever UNDER-states their credits, even when trying to be anonymous! Well, those two guesses have left me tired out and in need of a nap…so how about some guesses from YOU all? Just put them in the comments, and if we ever find out who the mystery bidder actually is, I’ll present the winner with…uhh,  a virtual gold star!


ONE FINAL NOTE
directed at the winning bidders and new owners of the MAD art who may be generously considering Dick DeBartolo’s suggestion to donate them back to magazine: DON’T do it! The DC vampires would just sell them again! Donate them to Dick personally, or to someone in Bill Gaines’ family — hell, even one of the editorial interns would appreciate it more!

MAD-TV, R.I.P…

[Note: In a display of impeccable timing, here now is this blog's first post about "MAD-TV" -- the very week it's being CANCELED by the Fox Network after 14 years on the air!]

There’s never been much of a connection between the show and the magazine besides the name and few trademark characters (such as Spy vs. Spy and Alfred’s face); and the few MAD Magazine writers who ever wrote on the show (Arnie Kogen being the only one that comes to my mind). Oh, and then there’s the matter of the “chunk of change” MAD gets from the show’s production company for using the MAD name & stuff on every episode. I’ve heard conflicting stories about how much money that actually is – ranging from “eye-popping” to “eh, not much” – but whatever the amount, it can’t be good to be losing ANY revenue stream at a time when you’ve just been forced to sell off the last of your original cover art (that you swore you’d never sell, “no matter how high the offer!”)

Our first look at MAD TV, even before its premiere in the fall of 1995, was when the magazine offices sent out to all of us a preview dub-tape of a few partial episodes. Lots of people, including me, were actually quite surprised at how good it was…and also a little confused about how the name “MAD” related to this particular sketch-comedy show.

Even though there was a lot of head-scratching at first, the appeal of using the pre-existing MAD “brand” to try and jump-start a new TV comedy show is pretty obvious (if somewhat “strained” in this case). But, surprise, surprise: it soon became a case of the tail wagging the dog as MAD-TV rather quickly caught on and actually (gasp!) exceeded the magazine in popularity. Even in its worst ratings years — say, last year — the show attracted well over 10 times the number of eyeballs as the magazine, which has been bumping along the bottom with a paid circulation of around 200,000 for most of the past decade.

(To those of us associated with the magazine, the most obvious sign of its being eclipsing by the show is the total change in likely responses we get from “civilians” whenever we say “I write/draw for MAD Magazine.” Before the show, it was always either “Oh, I used to read MAD as a kid” or “Are they still around?” Ever since the show first took off, it’s been “‘There’s a MAD Magazine?!! Never heard of it.” or “Is that anything like MAD-TV?”)

One other impact of the show’s popularity: it was generally a lot more “edgy” (that word again!) than the magazine or even than its TV big-brother, Saturday Night Live — especially when it came to the subject matter of Race. I’m sure that this brought added pressure down on the magazine to be more edgy itself — that’s my own recollection, verified by a quick rifling through my old MAD papers for the sudden increase about this time in Editor’s Memos about “getting more edgy”. Not to mention the infamous Issue #356 (April 1997), MAD’s largest single leap into alleged “edginess”…and, I’m pretty sure, also its greatest “Irate-Letter-Generating” issue, to date.

David Saltzman, the co-producer of MAD-TV, is quoted in Variety as saying they’re hopeful about getting the show picked up by another network for next year. Good. I think it’s a show worth saving. If for no other reason than having something around to keep the name “MAD” alive.

MAD selling its ‘Soul?’ …at gunpoint?

More about the Heritage Auction of the LAST pieces of original MAD art that I talked about in my last post: I must be getting Old-Timer’s Disease or something – because I had read years earlier, but forgotten, that Frank Jacobs, in the book “MAD – Cover to Cover,” referred to the very same original cover art that is among those now being auctioned off as “Soul of MAD“-covers, the early iconic Alfred E. Neuman covers which would “never be sold, no matter how high the offer.” Obviously something has happened between that line-in-the-sand declaration and now. Something that, oh, I’m guessing starts with the letters “DC“…as in “DC Comics, a division of soul-less media behemoth TIME-WARNER,” MAD’s bean-counting bosses these days.

I was reminded of the ‘We’ll NEVER sell these covers‘ quote by a commenter on MAD’s own message boards at madmag.com (Hey, I’m their most loyal reader!). But what floored me even more was the response to that comment by veteran MAD Writer Dick DeBartolo (who regularly comment-responds on the site):

Frank Jacobs was slightly mistaken in his wonderful book. Those covers were not the soul of MAD, but appendics [sic] of MAD. And due to a rupture, they must be removed. The MAD offices will still feature exact copies of the originals and you can be sure we will continue to pass them off as the true originals. But in the meantime you get to bid on covers that were the very soul of MAD! Furthermore, if you’re high bidder and win them, should you still feel bad, you could always donate them back to us!

Wow. Unless ‘ruptured appendix‘ is Dick’s code-phrase for what DC is doing to them generally, that whole thing seems like an extremely nonchalant and inappropriately “make-happy” comment, given the ominous circumstances. The only wisp of a hint of the possibility that they’re being involuntarily forced to sell off the MAD “treasures” (and that they’re not happy about it), is the last little bit about the high-bidders maybe donating the art back to the magazine.

So…if you’re looking for clues about the state of the magazine in their public utterances…you’re probably out of luck. My guess is, they’ll probably be trying to make it look like everything is swell, and their future’s so bright they have to wear shades….right up until the microsecond that DC Comics issues the press release that they’re shutting down MAD for good.

The LAST auction of original MAD Art! (“Really! We mean it this time!”)

Well, I’m not sure if this news falls into the category of “alarming for the near-term future of the magazine,” but MAD is selling at auction what they say is the LAST of the original art from their vaults. (And it must REALLY be the “last,” because they said the auction 2 years ago was the “last” stuff they had.)

They’re auctioning off mostly MAD covers from the late 50s and 60s — some of the classic ones that I loved as a kid, even more so after I became a regular writer for the magazine and started comparing them to new MAD covers as they appeared. Sometime in the 70s, the archetypal “Alfred E. Neuman-as-the-hot-new Movie or TV character“-cover took over; personally, I found that trend crass and pandering in a way that the old MAD covers definitely were not. Old MAD covers usually featured just Alfred and some comical demonstration of his imbecility, or maybe a surreal, M.C. Escher-like optical illusion, and basically said to the potential reader, “Take us or leave us, we don’t care — these are the kind of covers we like, dammit!”

I’ve always thought the “Alfred-morphing” covers were the lamest (conceptually, not artistically) — especially ones where there was nothing else “there” except the Alfred-substitution and maybe a simplistic turning-around of an actual phrase or saying — the most recent lame example being the “Yes, We Can’t!” sign held up by “Alfred-morphed-into-Barack Obama” on the cover of MAD #493. Yawwwwwn. (In fairness, though, I ought to disclose that the Alfred E. Obama cover made my teenage nephew laugh out loud.)

So, definitely check out the MAD Art at Heritage Auctions. There’s some really great stuff there — including a few I wouldn’t mind trying to snag for myself, that is, IF my personal-playthings budget were 1 or 2 orders of magnitude greater than it is! The pre-auction estimates have most of these covers going for $5,000-$10,000 each. But if you’re a filthy rich MAD nut who still has “buckage” to blow after the recent economic meltdown, go do some shopping! (Heck, you might even be helping save the magazine for an additional month or two!)

(BTW: One nice little “bonus” of the previous MAD Art auctions – literally –was that we writers actually got a little taste of the action, as well as the artists, if the art sold was based on ideas or scripts written by us. Last year, I received a $600 check for art sold at the 2006 Heritage Auction that was drawn for articles I wrote years ago! I have no idea whether they’re legally required to do that or not…but either way: Thanks, guys!)

You KNOW You’re Really a MAD Writer When…

You KNOW you’re Really a MAD Writer when…you spend almost as much time trying to “game” the MAD editors as you do actually writing! Half the challenge of selling articles to them on a regular basis is anticipating what type of stuff they’re more likely to buy — before you actually waste time writing up stuff that they won’t. This task is made exponentially more difficult by the fact that MAD editors sometimes have a habit of saying one thing, but doing something else. Like, for example, periodically sending out memos to the writers that “we want new & different kinds of articles”…but continuing to buy and publish mostly the same old style of articles.

To me, the most glaring example of this “disconnect” involves the old MAD article formula, “You KNOW you’re a [blank] WHEN…” If you’re at all familiar with “classic MAD,” you KNOW they did this exact piece to death, over and over, all during the 60s, the 70s and into the 80s. Here’s just a partial list I swear I’m not making up:

  • You Know You’re Really Getting Old When…
  • You Know You’re Really Married When…
  • You Know You’re Really a Parent When…
  • You Know You’re Really Overweight When…
  • You Know You’re Really A Nobody When…
  • You Know You’re Really in Trouble When…
  • You Know You’re Really on Your Own When…
  • You Know You’re Really a Football Fan When…
  • You Know You’re Really Grown Up When…
  • You Know You’re Really Divorced When…
  • You Know You’re Really a Pet Owner When…
  • You Know He/She Is Not For You When…
  • You Know You’re in a Second Marriage when…
  • You Know Your Days Are Numbered When…
  • You Know There’s Something Fishy When…
  • You Know You’ve Really Got a Problem When…

It got so ridiculous that, in the mid-80s, even the (then) editors themselves realized they might be beating a dead premise, and they started specifically mentioning it in their Submissions Guidelines — as in ‘Don’t EVER send us ANY MORE ‘You Know You’re Really a [blank] When… pieces!!!’ And they dutifully kept on mentioning that in the writers guidelines for over 20 years…even as they kept on buying essentially the same articles!

See, what we discovered — and what became the worst-kept secret among MAD writers — is that even though the editors said they wouldn’t buy any more “You Know You’re a [blank] When’-articles…in point of fact, they DID, and would CONTINUE TO buy them — as long as you re-worded the offending You Know-title into something like:

  • Warning Signs you’re a…
  • Sure Signs you’re…
  • Sure-fire Signs that you’re…
  • Tip-Offs that you’re…
  • Tell-tale Signs you’re a…

Other than the reworded title/template…they’re practically identical in format, style of gag, etc. to every “You Know You’re a [blank] When...”-article  from 20, 30, or 40 years ago! (Prove it to yourself: take any ‘reworded special’ from the last couple decades that has “Warning Signs,” “Tip-offs” or “Sure Signs” in the title; and change it back to “You Know You’re a [blank] When…” form. Did you have any problems?)

I’m not too proud to admit I sold them GOBS of articles like that over the years, as have lots of the other guys, including my friends Desmond Devlin and, especially, John Caldwell — who, even now, gets one published in roughly every other issue; he’s probably put a kid through college just on the $$ he’s made from these kind of articles alone! (But I have to admit, John does bring more than his share of laugh-out-loud jokes, and art, to this particular dead-horse format.)

So, there you have Reason #312 why MAD Hasn’t Changed (That Much): the editors wouldn’t stop forcing money down our throats for writing the same old stuff year after year! Hee hee. (My tongue is only halfway in my cheek — if they had actually bought more of the “new & different” material than the “old, safe & familiar” kind, we would have written and sent them MORE of the former. You can bet my Bank Account on it.)