Sarah Palin’s last-ditch strategy: targeting “lonely male stalker”-vote

(Snichael Press Associated) - If you’re a lonely man who watched Thursday’s vice-presential candidate debate and asked yourself, “Is that woman winking at ME…repeatedly?” – the answer is a resounding “Yes!”

Faced with collapse in the polls, the McCain-Palin campaign is trying out a radical new vote-getting strategy: deliberately targeting a heretofore uncourted segment of the electorate: “Strange Men living alone who think women appearing on TV are sending coded love-messages or signals over the air to them, and them alone.” Ergo, Sarah Palin’s performance on Thursday night, which included not only 12 winks directly into the camera, but also: 23 suggestive lip-licks; 8 passionate nostril-flares; and 4 “come hither”-looks.

Campaign officials say it’s still too early to judge the success of the stalker-outreach effort, but point optimistically to “very promising” numbers they’ve been getting from florists, candy stores, and greeting card shops, reporting large jumps in sales-volume since the debate. “And that’s not even counting the weird guys buying lingerie or rope,” enthused an unnamed GOP source.

2 Responses to “Sarah Palin’s last-ditch strategy: targeting “lonely male stalker”-vote”

  1. Rats! I thought that 5th nostril flare was for ME.

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