One Fine Day during the 2008 Olympics
NBC Sports Announcer “BOB“: …and the American boxer, in the blue trunks, is 21-year-old Jose Rodriguez, from Los Angeles, California. And now he’s in Beijing going for the Gold!
NBC Sports Announcer “SKIP”: Wow! Just think of all that personal adversity he must have overcome, growing up in the mean streets of the barrios of L.A….
BOB: Actually, no, he’s spent his entire life in a nice upscale neighborhood on the West Side, raised by –
SKIP: (hopefully) – a single mother?
BOB: No, no: his folks have been married for 25 years. His Dad’s a lawyer and his Mom’s a pediatrician.
SKIP: (disappointed) Oh. Well, surely he must have a brother or sister who’s battling cancer or leukemia or something…?
BOB: (checks his notes) Hmmm….nope. Sorry.
SKIP: Any grandparents who emigrated to America from oppressive foreign dictatorships?
BOB: Nada.
SKIP: Um, “minor trouble with the law” when he was a teenager?
BOB: Nope.
SKIP: Dropped out of school because of…educational disabilities? …dyslexia? …teased by the other kids for his speech impediment?
BOB: Mmmm…not that I can see.
SKIP: Did he, I dunno…almost give up on boxing until he met an Inspirational Coach with “personal demons” of his own to conquer?
BOB: No.
SKIP: This guy’s a complete stiff – no “back-story” whatsoever! Why are we even bothering to cover him?!!!
BOB: Because he’s the #1 Amateur Boxer in the world in his weight class? With an record of 34 wins and no losses?
SKIP: BO-RING!!!! C’mon, there’s gotta be someone more interesting!
BOB: Hey…I hear there’s a girl in the Women’s 10-meter High Dive who’s a diabetic…with an uncle in prison for running a meth lab…AND her parents just went through a really nasty divorce!
SKIP: Yeah! Now you’re talking!
BOB: Control booth, go to another promo-spot for “The Office” while we pull the plug on this crap and move the cameras over to the aquatic center!