POST-trip MEMOs from my Drive Across America 2008
Well, even though I’ve been home for well over a week now…I’m such a terrible procrastinator about unpacking after a trip. All my clothes & such are finished, but I’m just now getting around to all these slips of paper in my suitcases…
- MEMO to New Mexico: You know what would REALLY make me feel “enchantment” toward your Land? If you finished all that highway construction already!!
- MEMO to Oklahoma: Even those drivers who actually ARE interested in the fact that Miss America 1981 Susan Powell is from your state…need only 1 or 2 signs on the Interstate informing them of that…
- MEMO to New Jersey: Sorry; I must’ve accidentally missed a Toll Booth on one of your parkways, turnpikes, bridges or tunnels — because I still had some change left when I departed your state!
- MEMO to Back East in general: Lose the humidity, okay? Seriously.
- MEMO to 50-ish couple in sandals at the FDR Museum in Hyde Park, NY July 21 making a big show of loudly whining about “how low the Presidency has sunk”: Save it for the MoveOn.org rally!
- MEMO to guy in blue Volvo I almost rear-ended getting back on I-90 near Albany: I’ve never even seen the New York State Drivers Manual…but I’ll bet a million bucks it does NOT say “STOP at the end of all freeway on-ramps before merging into high-speed traffic!”
- MEMO to Cumberland, MD: Nice gap.
- MEMO to highway engineers all over America who’ve been warning for decades about the thousands of decaying bridges & overpasses in dire need of repair: Yep…they’re still out there.
- MEMO to Branson, MO: One AM radio station playing a non-stop loop of comedian Yakov Smirnoff touting his live show does NOT constitute “Highway Travel Information!”
- MEMO to “Charlie” the Cooperstown Trolley driver: Call me crazy, but — maybe folks would be more likely to put cash tips in your open cigar box there if they weren’t first being gouged $3.00 per person to go from the parking lot to the Baseball Hall of Fame! Just a thought.
- MEMO to the ‘Morning Zoo’ radio DJ-team in Indianapolis: Uhhhh, check a calendar: it’s 2008, not 1983! (And lose those mullets, too!)
- MEMO to the zillions of Indian Casinos across this land (except for the Matazal Casino in Payson, Arizona): Nyeah, nyeah-nyeah, missed me!